I slowly gazed down, like slo-motion, to my left breast, and whispered 'whoa.'
Deja Vu for reals.
Although my heart had made a little frown, my lips let out a little giggle and shone a toothy smile. This feeling that was so foreign but not, had a massive impact on me and invoked so many memories. I'm back!! My heart is officially beating once more. Full of feeling and life. Instead of slipping behind a steel wall, my face gives away what my heart is beating.
Memories are flooding back: Ming and I cuddling, giggling on the couch, intertwining our toes. Mother Ma frowning as I scurry out the door on a Sunday evening without leaving her with a hug and a kiss. Tears rolling down my cheeks as I leave a work family. Angry screams from a father who doesn't want me to leave. The warmth of a big white bed on a Sunday morning. Waking up to the variety of five closets!! Intertwining my fingers around my gold chains. Play, love, cry, hurt, comfort, choice, nerves... I remember these quite well and I'm relishing in them all. My heart isn't just on my sleeve, it's seen in my eyes, heard in my speech and felt in my touch. I'm back.
Mission accomplished friends. Let the games begin!